January 24, 2023
There were exactly two weeks between round twenty-five of chemo and Benjamin's fourth CT scan. Because his PET scan in October 2022 returned a negative result, meaning that the disease was not active, his medical team decided that to reduce the amount of radiation exposure they would proceed with just a CT scan and forgo the PET scan this time around with the caveat that should there be any indication of growth or spread of the disease that a PET and/or MRI would be a real possibility.
For a few reasons my scanxiety around the hospital experience were diminished compared to how I was feeling in October. First, David was able to join us this time. Back in October he had a work commitment that he was unable to shift and I insisted that I could manage on my own. Though true, that came with immensely heightened anxiety and the trauma of having to be a pillar of strength for Benjamin early on in our journey due to the one-parent-per-patient COVID rule bubbled to the surface. Second, to ensure clear images are captured Benjamin has to lie completely still for the complete duration of a scan and we have always opted to attempt these without sedation or anesthesia. A CT scan on its own takes approximately five to ten minutes while a CT + PET scan takes about forty-five minutes so I knew going in that if he could ace two CT/PET scans, a CT scan on its own would likely be a walk in the park.
It wasn't long after checking in that we were called to the prep area. As we went, we met up with a Child Life Specialist who introduced herself to Benjamin and began to chat excitedly to him about all of the toys and activities she had with her for them to play with as he waited for his scan. Once in the prep area, Benjamin decided he wanted to sit on my lap while the nurse accessed his port. Unfortunately this did not start off as smoothly as his previous two chemo appointments but as soon as the butterfly was in he was offered a Freezie and that turned things around in a hurry. As it was handed to him I asked if he had to wait until after his scan to eat it as I hadn't given him any food or drink as I thought he needed to fast prior to the scan. To my surprise for a CT scan fasting is not required! I felt awful as I thought I had to refuse him breakfast at home when he asked after telling me he was so hungry.
From the prep room we were escorted to our private waiting room. I'm sure he could be heard far down the hallway chatting up a storm with the Child Life Specialist about the many pet snakes she had growing up and eagerly pulling out every toy she had with her. Favourites included a large squishy ball, a stretchy pickle, a bubble gun and light up Frozen lollipop.
The tech came into our room once they were ready for us to move into the scan room. Only one parent is allowed and without discussing, David and I knew our places. I lead Benjamin as we followed the tech into the room. Each scan room is outfitted in a different theme from floor to walls to ceiling to the scanner itself. Today we were in the pirate room which has a dock decal on the floor leading to the scanner which is trimmed with a pirate ship steering wheel around it. By now we know the drill and I lifted Benjamin up onto the board so that the tech could begin to mobilize him. To my surprise they used far less than I'd seen in the past. This time it was just two rolled up towels at the side of his head and the velcro strap around his torso. Last time included taping his head to the board, the mobilization of his legs and feet with more rolled towels and taping them together. I always ask if it's ok to remove his mask during the scan as Benjamin has a tendency to move it around using his jaw which isn't great for keeping completely still.
In less then ten minutes, as promised, he was done. The nurse was able to remove his butterfly as he lay on the board. When she was finished she excitedly told Benjamin that he could go home but he quickly corrected her, telling her that he was playing hooky from school for the rest of the day and instead going to Sky Zone. Unnecessarily forcing him to fast and keeping him out of school to visit a trampoline park - someone's not up for Mum of the Year ;).
We headed back to our room to tell David that we had finished and that Benjamin had completed another unmedicated scan like a champ, allowing the techs to capture clear images. David asked for a family hug and there we crouched, huddled together, Benjamin feeling happy that it was over, and us, so proud of him but also knowing that the hardest part, the waiting for the results call, was just beginning.
We decided without a word that the worry could wait and off we went to celebrate with Benjamin's first visit to Sky Zone, a place we had nearly to ourselves midday on a Tuesday, followed by lunch in an actual restaurant.